I hope you came ready to learn, Podophiles, but this episode is educational AF. We’ve got everything you need to know about face tattoos, Kevin McAllister: Party Monster and Pete & Pete. Plus The Boys™ Invent a great new derogatory term for Americans, a new slogan for the Dallas Pride Festival and a new, all-purpose catchphrase! Finally, they’ll teach you how any group of little boys is a little gay, how porn should be nicer to ladies and what happens when a blind, deaf bank robber, well... robs a bank.
Once again, Dave and Joel find themselves alone in a hole. But this hole doesn’t contain emails or noise. No, it contains nothing but their own dark, contemplative thoughts. Thoughts like: What’s up with bad neighbors? Is this behavior normal, or just Dave? Can we get our aggression in check? Why does Dave think he grew up in Game of Thrones? How do we deal with babies on flights? Vigo The Carpathian or Vigo The Channing Tatum? And, finally, is it true? DOES this man have no dick? Settle down and get comfy, cuz it’s time to TALK TO WALL.
Podophiles it’s time to reinvent the concept of modern cinema, starting with film adaptations of Dick Dock vs. Dig Dug, Darren Aronofsky’s Dr. Mario, George Foreman Grill: The Movie, The Yaoi Babadook, and that Schwarzenegger archeology-adventure classic, Diggin’ Up My Great Great Great Grandpa’s Bones. Let’s do lunch to work out the deets. Have your people call my people, then my people will fax me in my limo which they are not allowed in.
Pop quiz, hotshot! Which fighting video game character would you fuck? What do you do if a friend sends you porn they think you would like? Are your MSN and Hotmail accounts still active? Is Chris Pine a butthole-seeking homunculoid? What movies took place in the distant future of 2019? What was Mr. DNA really up to?! Ok, pass your papers to your neighbor and we’ll grade them as a class.
Podophiles, this episode is almost entirely about sex cults. Joining them, forming them, escaping them… you’re going to learn A LOT in this one, but how you apply that knowledge is up to you, your sister wives, their legions of children and the big man himself: Shaq.
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